Anyway, the whole experience was....well...a lot of crap. Literally.
Throughout the entire process, I was almost completely dependent on other people. It felt like being a child confined to time out in a boring hospital bed (in fact they did have a bed alarm if I tried to escape). Anytime I needed something, anytime I had to go to the bathroom, needed a drink, needed the light turned off, wanted the shade closed, was in pain, etc., I had to call a nurse. Which meant pretty much every hour, I was pressing the little nurse call button.
Not only that, but even getting to the hospital (and from it), my friend Nicole had to drive me. She had to go and get my clothes, get my food (when I was allowed to eat, at least), take care of things at my apartment and a lot of other sometimes embarrassing-for-me details.
Now, being someone who has been single and has lived alone almost my entire adult life, sitting on a hospital bed like a kid retraining my bowels to work properly again was not only physically miserably, but emotionally disastrous.
I was weak. And dependent on other people. And it felt terrible. And humbling. And connecting. And painfully intimate. And all of those things that as grown ups we somehow forget are an important part of life.
You see when Paul talked about God using the "weak things" (1 Cor. 1:27) to show His strength, he was saying that if you're weak, GOOD! You get to be used by God. If you're not, no problem. Becoming weak is a lot easier than getting strong (trust me- 4+ years of working out at the gym and I still weigh the same as my senior year in high school). I mean becoming weak doesn't feel great, but I promise it's worth it. And if you still find it hard to become weak, compare yourself to God. Trust me, you could be a WWE champion and compared to Him, you're weak. W-E-A-K.
And one of the most profound things I learned about being weak, other than being able to be used, is that other people around us get to be used as well. And we get to be connected to them. I didn't share very much publicly during my hospital visit because I didn't want to be bombarded by many well-wishing but emotionally and physically draining visitors while I was doing a colonoscopy prep (last detail I promise), but the few people that did know took on a huge responsibility of showing me love. And I'll be the first to say that I'm not always the best at accepting help (i.e. receiving love and having my needs met by others).
But there's something about being weak that makes us vulnerable to love.
Weakness is strength. Learn how to use it. Learn how to become it. Learn how to enjoy it.